Why I Need a Hammock More Than a Hustle

It took me two years to find myself again after losing someone extremely close to me.

Two years where I didn't recognize my own reflection.

Two years where my mind ran on fumes.

Call it burnout.

Call it shutdown.

Call it collapse.

Pick whatever word feels right.

They all fit.

Looking back now, I can see it so clearly.

I never took a break.

Not a real one.

Not the kind where your nervous system unhooks itself from survival mode and remembers it has a right to breathe.

I kept pushing.

Kept performing.

Kept showing up for everyone else while quietly disappearing from myself.

And maybe—just maybe—if I had taken a few true time-outs...

the shutdown wouldn't have lasted as long.

But here's what I did learn.

Whether life is beautiful or unbearable...

Whether you're thriving or hanging on by a thread...

It pays to pause.

It pays to slow your breathing.

To let your muscles unclench.

To sit somewhere quiet—inside or out—and let your soul catch up to your body.

I used to think rest was something you earned.

Now I know it's something you need...

especially on the days when you swear you don't.

So this August, I'm giving myself full permission.

Sit down.

Lay down.

Float.

Melt.

Rest.

Not because I'm weak.

But because I'm human.

And because sometimes the fastest way back to myself...

is to stop moving long enough to remember where I am.

See clearly. Choose wisely.

— Carol St. James